Sassy Quack
Thursday, May 04, 2006
More Travel Fun...
I arrived close to 2 hours early for my flight from LaGuardia a few weeks ago. Miraculously, I’d been able to score a cab in Times Square during the shift change on my first try and was now seated near a group of tweens and munching french fries from the Burger King I have visited more often than the one near my own house. Watching people in airports is always entertaining. The carefully crafted images they put up on the outside drop away to reveal the naughty, spoiled, and/or whiny child beneath.
A Delta agent directly across from me has put on her “weary parent addressing the ‘are we there yet?’ question for the umpteenth time” voice to announce that the plane her passengers await has finally landed…and she knows everyone is tired and hungry but if they could just be patient for a few more minutes. Bleary eyed men and women in business suits comprise most of the crowd lurking near the gates, chatting with their fellows, slumped in chairs, or talking loudly on cell phones. I catch one balding man exclaim quite self importantly “Well we conduct business all over the world…” into his ultra-compact model so that everyone is sure to hear. Eyes roll in the seats around him. Apparently his mommy didn’t teach him that it isn’t nice to brag in front of the other children.
Passengers from a newly arrived flight flood the already crowded area on their way out of the airport. Most are already talking loudly into phones…because clearly, the world will end otherwise. One woman in designer boots and an expensive looking brown skirt festooned with gold sequins scrabbles about on her knees attempting to unfurl her luggage cart with one hand while desperately clutching a phone to her ear…too deep in conversation to notice that a.) she is probably ruining her clothes and b.) she looks incredibly stupid.
The gate agents for Northwest, clearly suspecting that the whole boarding process is much too pleasant, have decided to invoke the dreaded “general boarding”. This means everyone who is not privileged enough to be seated in First Class all try to rush the gate at once…where they are then allowed in 10 at a time. The crack-head who came up with this plan believes it will speed up the process. Riiiiight. Almost instantly, there is a huge backup while the passenger in Row 8 carefully folds her coat into the overhead bin, blocking everyone seated behind her from passing. Once you make it to your seat, instead of perhaps one straggler who will pass you by, you must spend the entire boarding period dodging body parts and baggage. I think, during this particular evening, I was smacked with at least 3 butt cheeks, an elbow, and 2 suitcases. Yay Northwest, master of inconvenience.
I was VERY thankful to get home.
Another day, another butt cheek to the eye,
Sassy Quack
I arrived close to 2 hours early for my flight from LaGuardia a few weeks ago. Miraculously, I’d been able to score a cab in Times Square during the shift change on my first try and was now seated near a group of tweens and munching french fries from the Burger King I have visited more often than the one near my own house. Watching people in airports is always entertaining. The carefully crafted images they put up on the outside drop away to reveal the naughty, spoiled, and/or whiny child beneath.
A Delta agent directly across from me has put on her “weary parent addressing the ‘are we there yet?’ question for the umpteenth time” voice to announce that the plane her passengers await has finally landed…and she knows everyone is tired and hungry but if they could just be patient for a few more minutes. Bleary eyed men and women in business suits comprise most of the crowd lurking near the gates, chatting with their fellows, slumped in chairs, or talking loudly on cell phones. I catch one balding man exclaim quite self importantly “Well we conduct business all over the world…” into his ultra-compact model so that everyone is sure to hear. Eyes roll in the seats around him. Apparently his mommy didn’t teach him that it isn’t nice to brag in front of the other children.
Passengers from a newly arrived flight flood the already crowded area on their way out of the airport. Most are already talking loudly into phones…because clearly, the world will end otherwise. One woman in designer boots and an expensive looking brown skirt festooned with gold sequins scrabbles about on her knees attempting to unfurl her luggage cart with one hand while desperately clutching a phone to her ear…too deep in conversation to notice that a.) she is probably ruining her clothes and b.) she looks incredibly stupid.
The gate agents for Northwest, clearly suspecting that the whole boarding process is much too pleasant, have decided to invoke the dreaded “general boarding”. This means everyone who is not privileged enough to be seated in First Class all try to rush the gate at once…where they are then allowed in 10 at a time. The crack-head who came up with this plan believes it will speed up the process. Riiiiight. Almost instantly, there is a huge backup while the passenger in Row 8 carefully folds her coat into the overhead bin, blocking everyone seated behind her from passing. Once you make it to your seat, instead of perhaps one straggler who will pass you by, you must spend the entire boarding period dodging body parts and baggage. I think, during this particular evening, I was smacked with at least 3 butt cheeks, an elbow, and 2 suitcases. Yay Northwest, master of inconvenience.
I was VERY thankful to get home.
Another day, another butt cheek to the eye,
Sassy Quack
posted by SassyQuack # 5:07 PM 
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